winter update

last thursday n got a mini-surgery to get a port-o-catheter inserted into his chest so he can get IV nutrition since his weight has dropped so low once again. the docs and we don't know what else to try to help him get stronger in order to keep getting treatments to fight the pernicious lyme and other autoimmune/liver problems. n has a high risk of developing clots so we hadn't wanted to get a high risk line put in him unless there were no other choices. so here we are. the IV runs over 6 hours on a pump that fits into a backpack.

the surgery was nervewracking and more intense that i expected. the port is under his skin and they told us a needle would need to be inserted (by me!) into the port each time he gets hooked up to the IV. my knees got weak when they told me this. what i had done before (4 years ago when he had this same treatment) was connecting tubes that come out of his skin and using screwtop syringes and tubing with a very sanitary and precise method. the nurse trains you and then you're on your own. that was enough stress to keep me awake at nights. fortunately this nurse assured us that they would be putting a needle in that would stay all week and we just hook him up to the tubing, keep the line clean and patent, program the pump etc, etc. that's what's happening and it's going.... okay. it's a hard adjustment and n feels crummy today taking in so much liquid. they are going to make changes so he isn't so nauseated.

holding down the fort. this weekend i went to my office and abducted all of my unused plastic drawers and teaching tubs, washed them out, made labels and set up a nicely organized medical station in our bedroom for the ease of nurses, parents and myself. i am in awe that all this is going on. it's overwhelming, but full of the grace of Jesus. amazing grace. n is such a MAN.

today was a snow day so i got to stay home. actually i worked a lot here since i missed 2 days last week to help n. we have an excellent nurse who comes once a week to change the dressing, draw labs and check on us. a couple boxloads of medical supplies (including the IV formulas) arrive from coram healthcare weekly via courier. we get vitamin IVs from the doc and do those once a week. it's an intense regime.

commander of the fort and pack leader-- our hero, johnny d. no one knows how much he does for us and others; we are eternally grateful for his unending, humble service to us and to so many. he is amazing (and so is his woman, the great cho who keeps us smiling everyday) his reward in heaven will be GREAT!!!

speaking of our pack we are expecting a new addition this weekend. something special is coming our way at a time that may seem crazy, but we are ready for this most blessed distraction. most importantly n is excited. stay tuned. i will need your input.

have mercy

does anyone want to sponsor a little girl named mercy?

a couple of months ago nathanael read an article in world vision magazine encouraging all WV child sponsors (we have a "son" in myanmar) to find one other person to sponsor a new child. n took this earnestly and immediately called world vision to request an information packet on a child in need. unfortunately, world vision mistakenly, but apologetically, added this child to our account. we would LOVE to sponsor mercy, but cannot at this time. is anyone interested?

mercy pinyoloya is 7 years old. she lives in koro-bobi region of uganda with her sister and parents who struggle to provide for the family. she does not attend school. her main chore is carrying water, and she loves to jump rope. she lives in a community severely impacted by the HIV/AIDS crisis. this means that mercy is a "hope child" (a child who lives in an HIV/AIDS affected community). here is what a $35 per month donation will provide for a "hope child" like mercy:

-clean water

-nutritious food

-healthcare, including AIDS prevention

-educational opportunities (usually they provide materials and uniforms for kids to attend school... wouldn't that be amazing for mercy?)

-spiritual nurture

-care for sick or dying parent

-HIV and AIDS counselling

uganda is such an intense country, ravaged this past decade by a rebel army known for kidnapping children by night and making them child soldiers forced to do things to community and family members that are unspeakable. here is an article where i first learned about it: children at war. anytime i feel sorry for myself, i think back to this article i read in a WV magazine 5 years ago. nothing could be worse than such a life of survival-- parents sending children to travel each night to "safety zones" to sleep to avoid the terror of kidnapping, torture, enslavement, rape and mutilation. how awful that this rebel army, the Lord's Resistance Army, has now moved into the DR Congo, Southern Sudan and Central African Republic. there are so many kids in all of these countries who need sponsoring. i really wish i could do it and i'm sure i will someday!

if you are interested in sponsoring mercy please let me know. if you are interested in learning more about world vision, check out their website: worldvision.org. they are an internationally reputable, christian, non-profit humanitarian organization; my father-in-law has worked for them for nearly 30 years and can testify to their excellent stewardship caring for children, families and communities around the world. they also have the most moving and best gift catalogue in the world... you can buy goats, chickens, soccer balls, sewing machines, music lessons, job training, business loans, counselling and other gifts in honor of others: wv gift catalogue. it's amazing and great when you don't know what to get for someone.

here is one of many letters over the years from our "son" aung in myanmar. he calls me "auntie roxie" and informs me that he is studying for university entrance exams, which i think is high school in myanmar. i've sponsored him since he was 6 so it's amazing to see his yearly progress pictures over the years. if you want to search for other adorable, beautiful children who need sponsorship check out world vision's well-organized sponsorship page: sponsor a child!

thanks for reading!

too many potatoes

this is when you know.

i put one in the oven one day and look what happened. is it art or a sign to change dietary starches? actually i turned the corner in a gallery and he was resting in a kiva. creeepy...

we brined the heritage turkey in the cooler. sure was yummy...

tubbery had a nice birthday and thanks you all for your greetings, cards and unexpected gifts.

tomorrow we go to the hemotologist. i'm on winter break and franco's in town, feebird just left. it's been wonderful to be with family even though i get to be a bit of an emotional case as does happen during the holidays... and other days in between. sorry i have had no time for cards, emails, or winter greetings, but i do think of you all very often.

on another note, n's friend jeff the treasure hunter came over with some goods to show including:
-one bowie knife with an ivory hilt carved into a mexican highwayman complete with bandolero and the seal of mexico on his fitted coat (sorry, no photo-- it was incredible)
-one spanish pistol decorated with silver dragons and morrocan-influenced scroll work (n is holding above)
-one native american fetish-- a piece of jet carved into a little bear (a gift for n, my bear, from jeffrey)
n was quite blessed as he loves ammunition and ancient things. jeff commented that he looked like billy the kid on his bed artfully awaiting pat garrett and company. he thought n's pistol handling was eerily good and wondered about his past life. that's my cowboy! we'll keep you posted on how he's doing.

nathanael: my beloved and my friend

i remember the night n suffered the seizure that left him with a broken spine in 3 places. i curled up on the floor of the icu waiting room, sobbed and begged God not to take him home yet. he was unconscious and i didn't know why. he was 29 years old and i remember opening my bible and feeling an urgency to read psalm 30. it says in verse 3: "O LORD, You have brought up my soul from Sheol; You have kept me alive, that I would not go down to the pit." i remember feeling it was a promise that n would turn 30.

here he is in my little house in tacoma (2003) before we were married. he came over and we cooked lots of curries on that little stove.

i then proceeded to read psalm 31 and begged God for him to please reach 31, too, even though it says in verse 10: "For my life is spent with sorrow And my years with sighing; My strength has failed because of my iniquity, And my body has wasted away." But it also says in the end: "Be strong and let your heart take courage, All you who hope in the LORD."

these are awesome scriptures for us since we've both asked Jesus to come into our lives. they aren't just poetry for us since now "we walk by faith, not by sight." 2 Corinthians 5:7.

every sunday after church we ate at vien dong with friends. it was wonderful except when you ate pho and your arms went numb and you couldn't drive home. scary!

here is our first house in lakewood. we spent our honeymoon there. basically, i moved in and we were happy enough with that. n was too sick to go anywhere. we still technically have reservations at the B&B we were supposed to go to. maybe someday, but i'm pretty much over it by now!

tomorrow (december 5th) n-ie pie turns 32 and i am rejoicing. not because i talked God into anything (although He says the prayers of the righteous avail much... and HE is that righteousness!), but because i am so grateful for each day with my man.

n is so amazing and takes such good care of me. people say i take great care of him (thank you, Lord for the HELP), but HE is an excellent and incredible husband. he cares for me like no one else and covers me with love deeper than anything i've known on this earth.

"Who is this coming up from the wilderness leaning on her beloved?" i read this verse and always want to say it's me! it's me! with tubbery! we are in the wilderness, but we are together!

"Put me like a seal over your heart, Like a seal on your arm. For love is as strong as death, Jealousy is as severe as Sheol; Its flashes are flashes of fire, The very flame of the LORD. Many waters cannot quench love, Nor will rivers overflow it; If a man were to give all the riches of his house for love, It would be utterly despised." Song of Songs 8:5-7

what can i say to a man like this? a beautiful scottish, irish lad of superior intellect, taste and humor. happy birthday, bear! each day with you is a gift and you are your namesake! nathan = gift/ a-el= of God!

you have been through so much and i am honored to be on this journey with you.


i don't know what's ahead of us, but i know God is faithful and true, i know His promises are forever, and i know it is Him we are leaning on in this wilderness.

"This is my beloved and this is my friend..." Song of Songs 5:16

cho's day

hello everyone, it's scoobie bear here. this month it was my mom's birfday and rockie forgot to post my post. i lub my mom.

rockie and n call her cho cuz i guess n made that up when he was little but it doesn't seem too spectful to me. anyhoo, my dad took her to taos to get away from it all including me which wasn't too nice. i slept with rockie all night on her head and snored a lot cuz i have a fat neck that makes it hard to breathe. she got a little mad at me one time so i went under the covers to soften her heart but it just made her hot. i do this with my mom everynight of our lives and she gets mad too even though i'm so cute cuz she sayz it hurts her back and makes her roast. i like to sleep in a big bed even though i am little and have my own wallybed.

that's my dad on the rio grande. i wanted to go but i couldn't cuz i have hurty legs.one weekend there was a dog show after my dog class and some dogs had to wear silly outfits but not me cuz i'm a big girl.

in my very last class i passed my akc canine good citizenship test and i was real good when people came up to shake my mom's hand even with their dogs and treats but right after i passed the boring test i was ready to kill a squirrell.

good night, weirdos.

mi trabajo

well, i got a new job, sort of. i am no longer teaching which is happy and sad. happy because i don't have the constant lesson planning hanging over me, and sad because my students are the best.

i am still doing half of my old job as a civics coordinator which means i work with esl teachers to create activities and projects for new immigrants. i coordinate fieldtrips, presenters and stuff like that. last week we (well, not me) made a video called "workplace scenarios" where a class read scripts they had written based on their job situations. we trained the camera crew and they did awesome taking over directing and filming each other. and this week i'll be watching a presentation by my old class on an H1N1 guidebook they made for their civics project. it's tons of work, but pretty much fun. i need to work on streamlining the program now that i'm only available half-time. here's my old office.

and my new office. yay! windows!!! my other new part-time work is with a non-profit which is also part of our adult ed. department at the college. it's a literacy program and i provide training and support for volunteer tutors to work with low literacy students as well as esl students in workplaces. it's been a chaotic transition, but i'm happy for the change and mostly for a raise! praise God for that!

hi ho. hi ho. off i go!

my secretary! he's the best. we call it superbill sunday when we sit down with the files and try to reconcile with the insurance company etc. even though he feels crappy, he's still on top of the finances. i'm soooooo thankful! what a man.

33 years of grace

i had a lovely 33rd birthday thanks to my super familia. i didn't expect anything... just another day at work and then coming home. good enough for me. when i got in the house i was telling johnny and hils about my meetingful day at work (with cake and office supplies from co-workers) then i turned around to find flowers, a presy, and a homemade cake decorating the table. yay!

everyone worked hard to make a nice indian dinner and fabuloso carrot cake filled with all sorts of nuts, sugars, spices, and fruits topped with creamy, lemon zesty frosting. it was delicioso and a blessed surprise party.

the yellow box was filled with an adorable plaid dress from my mothership-- anthropologie, and tubbery hooked me up with a sweet massage which i had yesterday. i felt muy especial and am grateful for another year to know God's amazing grace.

my birthday sweetheart. he is hanging in there with many daily challenges. lately it's been multiple trips to the dentist to fix a crown which fell out, got replaced, fell out again, got replaced again, and now chipped this week. we'll be going back on tuesday. it's exasperating and discouraging. were it not for the prayers of many faithful family and friends we'd be overcome by all of this.

"had it not been the LORD (Yawehshua) who was on our side... then the raging waters would have swept over our soul...Our help is in the name of the LORD, Who made heaven and earth." Psalm 124

Jesus is on our side and in His name lies our hope! thank you for praying.

...meanwhile fall is setting in. the aspens are turning golden and starting to toss their leaves about. the wind is sucking away what little moisture hides here leaving us with crackley lips and itchy skin marking the onset of another southwest winter. but still thriving is johnny's well-watered, favorite purple echinacea plant.

divine patterns are everywhere. can i have a blouse with this on it?

the juniper berries are getting plump and when squished they smell of gin. i wish i knew how to make a wreath out of these and other wildness i'm seeing lately. anybody know good sites/resources for wreathmaking/flower drying? do i need another project? why not!?

this is one of my favorite things about our adorable wally-- her exuberant lizard huntressing. enjoy!

she didn't get him, but we spent about 30 minutes out there together trying. her so cute! she's having leg/tail problems lately and it was a very stressful week for her and us. we are so blessed she's doing better today and thankful for time outside together.

more later...